idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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