so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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