I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
