Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
