She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
ugly people sure do ruin things
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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