I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
