i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize