Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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