Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I love having hate sex.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
