He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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