He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
