8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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