dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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