You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
