then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
