That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
