he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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