I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
