high people should be assigned attendants
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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