Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
