he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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