he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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