I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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