i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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