Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
