id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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