My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
