Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
