I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
