Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
