She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
