I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
