So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
