Only a mothe r could love this liver
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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