grandma shit on top of the toilet
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
and you fell through a lawn chair
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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