I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
