none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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