Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
