My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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