you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
