Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
