I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
