you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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