just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
