I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
