as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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