He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
