Don't you send me to vm
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
