What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize