I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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