That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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