please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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