If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
