And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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