Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
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