.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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