You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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