My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize