Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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